Headline Edition

Man Longs for attention

A man in Manchester was considering wearing odd socks to the office this morning to highlight the confusion and inner angst he is going through. The man, single, has been in a funk for a few months, but finds his employer less than understanding.

“When I first started working here” he said “everyone was so welcoming and nice. And now they are just horrible to me. Like all the time”. The hostility of hiw working life is matched only by the stark silence of his home life. “I had a housemate, who I used to confide in, and they were a good listener. But on the downside, he was a spider and drowned in my sink.”.

The notion of the socks being a path to a solution struck him whilst laying in bed in the middle of a ceiling tile count. “If I wear one navy blue and a bright red christmas one on the other foot, I am sure I can provoke a response” he said.

Workmates are doubtful about the success of the venture, with one saying “Terry is always doing things like that. Just to get attention. This is nothing. Last month he stirred my coffee with his bollocks” he added.