Headline Edition

"These effin' kids are ruining my peace negotiations" says Diplomat

Although many people think that Diplomats live in world of privilege and luxury, but in reality their lives are one traumatic nightmare after another.

“I got up this morning” said one Diplomat “And my shirt was not pressed to my liking”. This horror was augmented by the agony of his Belgian waffles were one degree less than he would have liked, as were his Raspberry Pan Au Chocolat. The tea was less than pleasing and as for the tablecloth not symetrically covering the table… it was Hell.

But the indignity was to get worse when one small child was humming by the pool as the Diplomat tried to relax caused him maximum irritation

“Listen” said the Ambassadorial Officer “If people can’t keep their children silent and still what is the point of being a parent? I’m trying to concentrate on international issues and get a tan.”

His agony was then almost trebled, as the child asked her Mummy who the angry man was. “I don’t know why I bother negotiating peace deals or smoothing over international crisises, when this level of disturbance has to be endured, just three and a half months into my holiday” he said