Headline Edition

Politicians want bung reform

With the rising price of everything, many people are finding it hard making ends meet, and one group particularly affected are Politicians. “As the people’s representative, we are rewarded with a handsome salary” said one elected Parliamentarian “but it’s simply not enough. We make up the difference with backhanders, bribes and bungs, but these are simply not keeping up with inflation” he added.

Oil barons, crypto entrepreneurs and developers have also voiced concerns. “The amount we are giving Politicians to bend and break and formulate the law is already pretty considerable” said one devious CEO “and the pressure coming from the various branches of Government to make such payments subject to increases along with the retail price index is too much”.

With the question of actual money out of the way, Corporations have drenched influential public figures with invitations to sporting events, lavish benquets, paid holidays and West End shows, which means Politicians are having to hire look-a-likes to stand in as they no longer have time to perform their duties themselves.

“Our time is valuable” said one acceptee “although we do have seasonal special offers”.