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Starmer revenge devastating, thrifty and petty

The world of politics can often be hard, and no place harder than 10 Downing Street. As Sir Kier Starmer prepares to leave, a fiendish scheme has been developed by labour’s best brains, and Starmer is reported to be on board with the project.

“We are going to leave small pieces of fish inside furniture and behind pictures” said one advisor “and put low emission bulbs in everywhere and value toilet paper in the upstairs loo”. The campaign of petty revenge, codenamed ‘Operation Sour Grapes’, is said to be well into it’s operation.

“I’ve personally put the batteries in the remote the wrong way around, and left the tv on a loop tape of the Telly Tubbies on full volume. I’ve put washing up liquid in the kettle and you do not want to eat that Camembert if I were you”