Headline Edition

MP3 Player Holds More Than Music

An MP3 player found in a local park may well have segments from the Original Bible on the disk, experts say. The device, thought to only contain Aerosmith, Guns and Roses and Van Halen was today in the hands of visiting Vatican officials who heard about the mysterious document.

“We believe it is written in something ancient, like Wordperfect or Lotus Office” said Cardinal Heptide “As such we will have to take it to one of our specialists in the Holy City for examination”.

Local people were sceptical, but set up a shrine, alter and collection box just in case. “We can’t take the chance” said Doreen Malcovich, local spinster and do-gooder “We just can’t risk inflaming the wrath of the almighty if we don’t commemorate and celebrate this most Holy of finds” she said, glancing nervously up at the sky.

As a measure of caution, all sorcery and human sacrifice has been cancelled for the next seven days.