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Headline Edition

Unreliable News from An Unreliable Source

Swindon Man 'blessed' with good luck

A man hit the jackpot in the local childrens’ park by discovering the Ice Cream man had given him two flakes sticking out of his ice cream cone as opposed to the standard, one.

“I could not believe my luck” said the man, Dan Doubty, a retired lorry driver now working in minicabs. “You only hear about this sort of thing happening in your wildest dreams, but I can’t believe it’s actually happened to me”. Doubty is no stranger to luck. Last year Headline Edition reported on Mr Doubty’s three sweeteners in his coffee instead of the usual two in a local Starbucks.

“I feel someone up there is looking after me” he said.

Doubty worries though that this wave of good luck will attract beautiful gold diggers who will want part of his chocolatey action.


By our draft dodging correspondent, Bill Closet-Dweller