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Best Thing Since Sliced Bread Hypothesis Disproved?

Scientists have finally proved that sliced bread is not actually a decent barometer of something being the best thing.

Speaking from a conference in Belgium, Hans Lichter told the assembled reporters “we have found that there are many things which are better indicators than sliced bread for excellence. Most of those things have emerged in the one hundred and twenty years or so that the sliced loaf has been with us, and we don’t know why it stays as the high bar for being the best thing since”

Lichter is the last surviving member of the research team, after twelve of his associates met with unfortunate ends or simply disappeared.

“Big Bread does not want the truth to come out about the sliced product” he told reporters “because whereelse are people going to find a loaf which is prepared in such a way to be described as ‘sliced’?” he asked.

It was a sad occasion when he was gunned down by a lone baker in the foyer of the conference hall.