Headline Edition

Child Inadvertantly Reveals Truth

A child in Altringham has confirmed what many of us suspected for a while; that no one actually wants to find Waldo.

The popular puzzle, which consists of finding one particular figure in amongst a heaving throng of other drawings has been thought to amuse young and old alike for almost a century.

But when Ben Deeke, 4, was presented with the puzzle by his Grandmother, Elise, 56, his reply was not what she had expected

“I don’t want to find Waldo” said the playful imp “Waldo is a twat”.

Intially his nanna doubted the claim, but verifying the data with friends and neighbours it transpires the child, in his innocence, had made a factually solid statement.

“To think of the hours I spent, my children spent finding that little bastard” she told reporters “When we all could have just let him fester alone and unloved until that crowd surrounding him grew weary of his specs and stupid jumper and turned on him in a orgy of blood soaked rage” she said.

A new book line has been launched in response, ‘Ignore Waldo’, where children and adults can pretend waldo isn’t there at all. The book is printed on special paper soaked in accellerant, meaning those most dedicated to the new version of the game can satisfy themselves by ending the irritating Waldo in a bath of fire.